Mother-daughter relations can be complex, fraught, and often difficult. It is one that can be impacted by a wide range of factors, from infidelity to differences of temperament to aspirations. You don't have to be in a bad relationship with your mom. There are ways you can make it better.
Fix your relationship with her
Setting healthy boundaries is the first step to a better connection with your mom. These could include the things you share with your mom, and how often you spend time together.
While it may be difficult to communicate clearly and without judgment your boundaries, it is vital for a healthy relationship between you. You may feel angry or uncomfortable if your mother pushes beyond her boundaries.
If you are resentful or have a history of it, it may be beneficial to seek out a mental health professional to help you examine your relationship and determine how to move on. A counselor can help you to heal past hurtful experiences.
Establishing a new type of relationship with your mother is also important. You can start by changing how you communicate with your mother, says Kat Vollono, licensed psychotherapist and mental health expert who specializes on anxiety, depression and trauma. Try to focus on positive things instead of problems.
Avoid toxic, old-fashioned topics that can't be resolved and cause you pain. Reframe the conversations so that they reflect that you both are adults now and have your own lives.
If you have to deal with your mother's issues, focus on the positive aspects and not the negative. Say to your mother that you are proud of her. You could also tell her that you value the lessons she has taught and love you for it.
This can make your mother see her as someone who is capable of growing and learning, not just a person who has done her job. Although this can be difficult, it can help you both to have a better relationship with your mother.
Your mother can be a great part of your relationship by developing and engaging in hobbies and other activities. Find something you enjoy together and look forward doing it.
Your mother should be able to spend quality time together and that you keep in touch. This can include lunch dates, phone calls, and other ways to connect.
Your mother is your best friend. But, be open to her opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to disagree when necessary. This is especially true when your mother views life differently than you.
Consider the impact social media has on our culture and how that impacts your relationship to your mother. You may not agree or share the same views as her on social issues.
FAQ
Is gentle parenting good?
It depends what you mean with "good." If you're talking about how children are treated, then I would say yes. However, if asked whether they are happy with the treatment, I would have to say no. They require discipline and firmness from time to time. They will never be able learn to behave correctly if they aren't disciplined and firm.
Children need rules and limits. Without these, they will never know what's acceptable behavior and what's not. They will not be able to respect others or follow instructions.
If you ask me which parenting style is better, I'd say none. Each of these styles is equally effective. The important thing is to choose the one that best suits you and your family.
Why do some children ignore their parents' instructions?
Children are naturally curious. They want to learn more from others. Children have a natural desire to please adults and avoid punishment. They may lack self-discipline if it isn't obvious why they should follow certain rules.
Children should understand why rules are important and the consequences for breaking them.
They must also realize that following rules does not mean giving up their freedom. They will be safe.
If you can explain it clearly to them, they will understand.
These are some suggestions for how to train your children.
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Explain to them the reasons behind the rules.
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Teach them the importance of consequences.
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Encourage them to practice self-control
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Have fun.
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Don't expect perfection.
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Encourage them asking questions.
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You should be praised for your effort and not just your results.
How important is good parenting?
Good parenting helps children grow up to be well-adjusted adults who can handle all of life's challenges. It teaches them to take responsibility and make decisions.
Good parents teach their children self-control, how to manage emotions, and how to cope with stress. They teach their children how to set and achieve goals.
They encourage children to discover their talents and interests. They also ensure their children have the right resources and opportunities to succeed.
They treat all people equally and show respect for each other. They don't discriminate against anyone based on race, religion, gender or sexual orientation.
They provide a safe, secure environment for family members.
Statistics
- Dr. Phil says, “Children should be able to predict with absolute certainty, what will happen as a result of their behavior, 100% of the time.” (parenting.kars4kids.org)
- Most adults will become parents at some point in their lives (i.e., around 89.6% of the adult population worldwide; Ranjan, 2015). (positivepsychology.com)
External Links
How To
What does it mean to be a positive parent?
Positive parenting refers to helping children be happy, healthy, and prosperous. Parents must offer their children the right type of support, encouragement, and guidance.
Positive parenting is about teaching children problem solving, decision-making and conflict resolution.
Parents should encourage their children to acquire these qualities.
The following activities can help foster positive parenting:
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Spend quality time together.
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Help your children practice social skills.
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Give constructive feedback.
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Teach your children morals and values.
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Model appropriate behavior.
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Your children should have success.
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Let your children know you value them.
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You can share your knowledge and experiences to your children.
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For your children, create exciting and fun times.
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Do chores around your home with your children.
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Give your children choices.
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Give praise to your children for doing something well.
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Encourage your children to try new things.
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Respect your children's privacy.
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Tell your children truth.
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Treat your children like people.
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Do your best to be a role model.
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Talk to your children in such a way that they are encouraged to speak back.
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Avoid using harsh language.
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Set clear limits.
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You can use rewards and consequences to your advantage.
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You should explain why you want your child to behave in this way.